Silicon Valley Jedi

The spaceship’s alarm was sounding; someone had entered without ID.
The lieutenant assigned to check sector D rushed with his soldiers while a man wearing funny glasses watched on a monitor from the safety of the commander deck.
Lieutenant- We have found him!
A young boy, standing among defeated Jedi. His body covered in black attire, red tribal tattoos mysteriously shining on his face and uncovered arms.
“I don’t want to kill you… just humiliate you.” – bleeding enemies belying his words.

He was just 14 but looked even younger.

The lieutenant rushed only to see him disappear.
“He is using a proxy”, the voice from the commander deck told the lieutenant.
Too late, the boy sneaked from a blind spot and killed the lieutenant and his soldiers.

The commander deck man sighed while the young sith obliterate his troops.

“Professor, Doctor, let’s go to sector D”
“Understood commander”

The three of them met the young sith.
“Who sent you?”- the ship doctor asked angry.

“Who sent me? I decided to invade by myself.”

“You are still young sithling, drop your proprietary saber and join the free software crew, we will grant amnesty over your foolish acts up to now”

The boy disappeared in thin air again, aiming the commander’s neck.
He was parred.

“I know how to track you”

The commander then stroke his blue light saber stopping one millimeter before it hit his opponent’s head.

“You are not supposed to make proprietary platforms stronger” – the professor admonished.

“Copyright infringement is also off limits” – said the commander.

The boy yielded and joined them.

——————————————————

14 years later, the young man was battling on a sith planet by professor’s side when he was striked with a light saber, the professor parred the enemy’s final blow but the sith-turned-jedi was bleeding profusely.

Back on the ship, he received treatment and was wrapped in bandages.

“I would have dodged that if I were using proprietary software”

“That is not how you should think, try focusing on making simpler moves and…”

“I can sense we are getting near obfuscated planet.”

“You are not supposed to focus on sensing the dark side…”

“14 years, and I have never achieve greatness being a jedi. Perhaps my true nature is destructive”

“I’ll report what you just said to the commander!”

A quick blow and the professor was lying on the floor.

“What the…. where did you get your old proprietary saber!?”

“That doesn’t matter much now, does it” said the bandaged man who was still strong enough to defeat a jedi veteran,now that he had turned back to his old ways.

A sinister smile surfaced on the commander’s face who watched over the whole spectacle going on on his monitor.

The wrapped man soon invaded the ship’s deck.

“Give up, I am stronger.”

“Are you? You haven’t seen everything I can do” – the commander replied.

They started fighting and it was clear that the youngster had an advantage.

Until the commander used the force to fly a reddish saber to his hand.

“So, you are…”

“A sith? Nah. I have transcended that a long time ago.”

One blow of the commander’s new weapon as strong enough that even parred could send the ex-sith-turned-sith-again a few meters back.

“What is that weapon?”

“Unlike you, I have no qualms about lecturing my enemies before they die. It is SAAS, saber as a service”

“That… is supposed to be forbidden!”

“Hahahaaha!”

The young sith decided to retreat. Escaping to proprietary planet on a life saving ship was the only way.

He dashed and jumped, but not before he used the force to throw his old saber towards the commander. It gave him enough time.

“Damn bastard.” – the commander cursed

———————————————————————-

He had arrived safely, his wounds still hurting from his last battle as a jedi. He entered a murky bar, customers looking suspicously at a the jedi-like newcomer.
“We don’t serve jedis here” – the bartender quipped.

The young man looked at the bartender, evil shimmering on his eyes.

“Jedi? I’ve killed some. Where is the lord of this planet?”

*gulp* “He doesn’t show himself in person. You can go downstairs and use the monitor”

He did just that. An old man donning a dark gray hooded robe appeared on the monitor.

“I knew you would come back to me” *smiles*

“I will obliterate planet firefox and bring the proprietary force to new heights” he said in front of the gift he had just received from the planet’s lord: an army of droids.

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